This month's theme is The Wild Unknown so I thought I would share my journey. To some, my journey may sound familiar and for others it may not. I only hope that my story might inspire someone, anyone, to take their own journey into The Wild Unknown.
I have been a foster parent for over 5 years. In that time our family has fostered 11 children. Each child came to us with their own story, one that was unique to them: Neglect, drugs, physical and sexual abuse are just a few of the aspects of their story when they are brought into my home and with each new foster child, each new story, I began to lose faith. Faith in mankind, faith in God and Jesus, and even faith in myself. My last foster babies, a brother and sister, went home in August 2019. They had been with us for 14 months. Fourteen months and then they were gone, just like that. I went to a really dark place after that. I was just so overwhelmed with sadness and grief. And this is where my journey began.
My two boys are both in Scouts. We have been with our current troop around 4 years. In those 4 years, I had never been able to go on a camping trip with the boys because I always had a foster child/children. So after the littles went home, a camp out was coming up and I decided to go. Best decision ever! It was just me and another mom on a Saturday. We were friendly but at that point we weren't what I would call friends. But that day we started talking, getting to know one another and somehow the conversation turned to God. I asked if she believed, she said yes and told me her story. She asked if I believed and I said I wasn't sure if I did anymore. And I cried. I cried for the loss of my babies, my faith and myself. She said she understood, because how could I not lose faith when I saw the worst of humanity. Her kindness and friendship were the true blessing that weekend.
Something changed after that and I'm pretty sure it was the Holy Spirit guiding me. I started looking for signs and I realized the blessings were all around me. They had always been. But I had stopped looking.
I made a decision that Sunday to find my faith and myself again. I set up a meeting with Rev. Angie, I attended mom's group, I started going to church again and even got my boys to begin their own journeys. I started working for the first time in 20 years, I made a proclamation of faith in front of my new church, my boys were baptized, I joined a gym and I have now been on quite a few campouts. The blessings are endless!
I'm not exactly where I want to be on my journey back to God but I'm exactly where I need to be right now. A huge thank you to everyone who has supported and walked alongside me on my journey into The Wild Unknown. Words cannot adequately express how grateful and appreciative I am for my new Blackwater family. I love you all!